Happiness is an elusive goal. Researchers have found that social connections are a major predictor of happiness, and that people who spend time building strong relationships are generally happier.
But philosophers have a lot of concerns about narrower theories of happiness, like hedonistic and emotional state models. And hybrid theories like Sumner’s life satisfaction model have their own problems.
1. Be grateful.
Gratitude is the selfless act of appreciating someone or something without expecting anything in return. For example, writing a note of appreciation to a friend who has had a rough time is one way of showing gratitude to that person.
Studies in positive psychology show gratitude is strongly and consistently linked with happiness. It helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, cope with adversity and build strong relationships.
Start and end each day by listing a few things you’re grateful for. Try to go for depth over breadth: focusing on specific people or objects carries more benefits than a general list of many things. For example, you could be thankful for a favorite scent that lifts your mood or the fact that sound is possible in this world.
2. Focus on the good.
There are many ways to focus on the good. One is to find the silver lining in difficult situations, such as when a flight is cancelled and you have extra time to catch up on an episode of your favourite show.
Another is to practice forgiveness and acceptance, as this can help you to move on from a negative past experience and improve your well-being. Lastly, you can focus on the positive impact of your actions, such as helping others or spending time with family and friends.
A fourth family of views, called hybrid theories, attempts an irenic solution to our diverse intuitions about happiness. These theories identify happiness with both life satisfaction and pleasure or emotional state, often including domain satisfactions as well.
3. Take care of yourself.
As we get busier, it can be easy to neglect self-care. We skip a workout, cancel a personal training session or reschedule dinner with a friend to keep up with work commitments and other obligations. It is important to remember that you will not be able to be the best version of yourself for others if you are not taking care of yourself.
Try to schedule in activities that bring you joy and fill your soul (such as hiking, dancing or seeing your favorite band in concert) on a regular basis. Also, incorporating grounding into your routine by walking or sitting barefoot on the earth helps calm the immune system and relieves inflammation and pain. It can even improve your focus! Laughing is also great for your mental health.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others.
The “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality is one of the biggest causes of jealousy and unhappiness. Rather than envying someone’s new car, house, or social status, focus on being happy for them.
We all have different experiences and gifts. We should be happy for anyone who is doing well in life, but we also need to remind ourselves that every flower blooms at its own pace.
The next time you find yourself in the comparison trap, make a list of who and what are your triggers. Then, work on improving yourself daily – not by trying to be like someone else, but by being better than who you were yesterday. You’ll be amazed at the joy this brings you! A study showed that talking about daily things with your family was a big happiness booster, while chitchatting about what Rihanna wore to the Grammy’s made people less happy.
5. Don’t be negative.
A lot of people think happiness is a state of mind, and it’s true that genetics play a huge role in your personality. But there are also many things that you can do to make yourself happier.
Negative thinking tends to downplay what’s going well in your life and magnify the negative aspects of a situation. For example, if your car breaks down and it dominates your thoughts and emotions for the rest of the week, you could be missing out on the enjoyment of having a good roof over your head, food to eat and transportation.
Negative friends and family members can be a drain on your happiness. Cut them out of your life if you can. If you have to be around them, don’t engage in gossip or complaining and limit the time they spend with you.