Filling up your tank isn’t always easy. But happiness is worth the effort.
Happiness is an electrifying and elusive state. Philosophers, theologians, and psychologists have long sought to define it. A whole branch of psychology – positive psychology – has been dedicated to pinning it down.
Various theories suggest that happiness is sourced from different things: for example, health, wealth, relationships, and enjoyment of life’s pleasures.
1. Focus on the positive
When we dwell on the negatives or worry about the future, it can make us feel tense and stressed. Being aware of when we’re in these negative thought patterns can help, as can intentionally focusing on the positives.
One way to do this is by savoring experiences. This means really enjoying what’s happening in the moment, like being present at your son’s piano recital instead of texting or thinking about the to-do list.
Another way to think positively is by making a habit of anticipating pleasures, like going to your favorite restaurant or planning a weekend getaway. Practicing gratitude can also increase happiness, as can finding meaning in your life. For example, positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman suggests writing a letter of appreciation to someone who has changed your life for the better—and delivering it in person for the greatest impact.
2. Take care of yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure you’re giving yourself the care and attention you need. This includes your mental health. Incorporate daily moments of self-care into your life to help you feel more relaxed, happy and rejuvenated.
Some people might think that taking time for yourself is selfish or egocentric, but it’s not. It’s about keeping yourself healthy and happy so that you can be the best version of yourself for others. Think about it like the safety advice you get on airplanes: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Spending time with other people can also help boost your happiness. Researchers have found that happiness is contagious – even up to three degrees of separation. [4] Spending time with other positive, supportive people can help reduce stress and depression, which can improve overall health and happiness.
3. Spend time with people you love
Spending time with loved ones is one sure way to boost happiness, even for introverts. In fact, research shows that spending quality social time is more correlated to happiness than an increased income!
Having close relationships with romantic partners, family members and friends can help you cope with life’s stresses. It can also lead to healthier behaviors, such as taking a regular exercise class together.
Researchers are beginning to understand how important it is to have a strong support system. Having an active social network is linked to greater happiness, lower disease risk and better sleep. It also helps people recover faster when they are sick. Having strong connections with acquaintances-the work colleague you bump into once a week, the pet store employee who remembers your cat’s name-can be just as sustaining.
4. Do things you enjoy
Happiness is a deep sense of fulfillment and joy in life that varies from one person to the next. It’s important to find what makes you happy and then dedicate time and energy to those things. Hobbies, volunteering, and even small activities like journaling can help you feel more joyful and happy in your day to day.
Hobbies and activities that you love activate feel-good hormones in the brain, boosting positivity and productivity. So, start exploring hobbies that you’ve always wanted to try.
Whether it’s reading, cooking, or playing a sport, try to make these a regular part of your life. It may be hard to get started at first, but over time it’ll become a habit that brings happiness to your day to day.
5. Take time for yourself
It takes a conscious effort to put wellness and self-care into your daily life, especially when you’re balancing work responsibilities, household chores and kids. But the reward is immense.
Taking time for yourself can help you feel happier, relieve stress and have better relationships. It’s important to take time for yourself and do things you enjoy, even if it seems like there isn’t enough time in the day.
Many people associate being alone with feeling lonely, but if you make a conscious choice to spend time for yourself, it won’t feel bad. If you feel guilty about stepping away from your responsibilities, ask yourself why you’re feeling that way. You may be surprised at the answer. Be sure to schedule your alone time and mark it on your calendar so you won’t miss it.