If you are unhappy, it’s time to change your fuel.
For decades, psychology has focused on pathology and the negatives in life. But a new focus is emerging – happiness.
But what exactly is happiness? Is it relaxing on the beach, fitting into a skinny jean, or landing that promotion?
What Is Happiness?
Happiness is a unique, subjective experience that elicits positive emotions. Scientists have a number of instruments to measure happiness and there is a wide variety of theories to explain it.
One common idea is that happiness comes from pleasure and meaning. Another is that we evaluate our own lives by comparing them to those of others. This process, called social comparison, involves upward and downward comparisons. Upward comparisons may lead to unhappiness while downward ones can increase happiness.
A third view is that happiness comes from the pursuit of goals, such as wealth, health, success, and social status. This approach to happiness is associated with the field of positive psychology, which focuses on cultivating a sense of well-being, positive emotions, fulfilling relationships, and a sense of purpose and meaning in life. These ideas are a departure from the traditional focus of psychology on disease and distress. They have been fueled by the desire to shift the way we think about human nature.
What Makes Us Happy?
Happiness is a broad and elusive concept, but psychologists are working hard to understand what makes people happy. There are many factors that contribute to happiness, both internal and external. Internally, a sense of wellbeing, contentment, and satisfaction can stem from self-acceptance, personal growth, and the realization of goals. Having meaningful relationships with loved ones, finding purpose in life, and a general feeling of hope and optimism can also be key.
From a physiological perspective, chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin can bring us temporary pleasure, but these feelings don’t last very long. What does last are the things that create a lasting sense of well-being.
Studies show that the happiest people are optimistic, grateful, altruistic, and curious about their world. They also tend to be flexible and resilient, able to adapt to change and bounce back from setbacks.
How Can We Become Happier?
Happiness is more than just a chemical reaction in your brain; it’s also about how you perceive the world and how you live your life. The field of positive psychology is rooted in research that shows a variety of factors can help us achieve greater happiness. Some of these factors include hedonia (the pleasure-seeking aspect of happiness), mindfulness, and a sense of purpose or meaning.
Often, people overestimate how happy they will be in the future. This is particularly true for major events like a promotion or a breakup.
Studies show the happiest people are those who play to their strengths and spend time connecting with others. Other activities that can boost happiness include volunteering, expressing gratitude, and practicing mindfulness. Try incorporating one of these into your daily routine this week, suggests psychologist Laurie Santos, PhD, host of The Happiness Lab podcast and Yale’s popular course Happiness and the Good Life. She says a common misconception is that becoming happier requires more money or a better job, but you can nudge your happiness by changing your mindset and behaviors.
What Can We Do to Become Happier?
There are a lot of things we can do to become happier. Some of them take practice to develop into daily habits, such as gratitude, mindfulness, positive self-talk and savouring experiences.
We can also make an effort to connect with others. Humans are social creatures, and the happiest people have strong social relationships. Even if you aren’t in the mood to hang out with friends, try sending them a friendly text or calling them on the phone instead.
Exercise can reduce stress and boost happiness. You don’t have to train for a triathlon or scale a mountain — any form of physical activity can do the trick.
It’s also helpful to remember that happiness isn’t a destination, but a state of being that comes and goes. It’s normal to feel down at times, but the key is to focus on what we can control: our mindset, calming the mind and building self-esteem, and creating good relationships.