Happiness can feel like a full tank of gas. It’s a positive feeling that helps you cope with life’s ups and downs.
Researchers differ in how they define happiness, but most agree that it includes contentment and pleasure. It also involves a sense of well-being and serenity. But some people object to this definition, arguing that it excludes other important factors.
1. Keep it full
Like a car, your emotional tank can be on full or empty. When it’s empty you can feel frustrated and overwhelmed and start reacting negatively. When you’re on full, you can keep calm no matter what happens.
Figure out what fills your tank and make sure you do more of that. Also pay attention to what drains your tank and try to avoid those situations.
Meditation is a great way to keep your tank full. It teaches you how to breathe correctly and keeps your body and brain calm. Deep breathing sends the message to your brain that everything is ok and lowers your stress levels instantly.
Other ways to keep your tank full are exercise, music and nature. Spending time with loved ones also boosts happiness. And don’t forget to take a break and stretch or even just walk around outside for a few minutes. It can help reduce tension and increase energy. The arrows of death, divorce or losing your job can cause holes in your tank, but you can either patch those holes or fill the tank back up.
3. Save money
Saving money gives you a way to protect yourself against economic shocks, whether they come from job loss, medical bills or retirement. It also helps to reduce your risk of poverty in old age. Studies show that those who save are a lot happier than those who spend all of their income on consumption. Those who have little to no savings, however, are a lot less happy than those who have saved and invested their money. Turning happiness into a policy target, as is the case today, opens the door for either an ultra-narrow utilitarian approach or, at least, hedonic welfarism.
Neither approach promotes the happiness of the average person. In fact, they undermine it. Moreover, the current generation’s obsession with happiness extollers may have more in common with 19th-century utilitarians than their 19th-century counterparts: they believe that the community is a fictitious body composed of the interests of its members.
4. Avoid overpaying
Buying more stuff doesn’t always mean you will be happier. Often people feel empty and miserable even when they have more money than their neighbors. This happens because humans are masterful at hedonic adaptation; they get used to things very quickly. This is why it’s important to avoid overpaying for happiness.
If you want to feel happy, spend more time with friends and family. Research shows that relationships are a major source of happiness. When you spend your money on other people it will bring you more joy than spending it on yourself (see here and here). So instead of being jealous of the nice car that your neighbor just bought or the beautiful house they live in, cheer them on! Make a point of celebrating the successes of your team members. Loving-Kindness meditation is a great way to cultivate this mindset.
If you find your tank is low, do something each day to stretch and grow your mind. Read a book, take a class, learn to play an instrument, or just try learning something new.