Happiness is a full tank
Happiness is an emotional state. It can be measured in terms of the moment-by-moment intensity of your positive and negative feelings (the “happiness meter”) or by looking at your ups and downs over time.
It’s a common misconception that happiness is about “toxic positivity.” It’s not.
1. Focus on the positive
Positive thinking, or an optimistic attitude, is associated with a range of benefits, including better mental and physical health. But that doesn’t mean ignoring reality or trivializing the bad things that happen in life.
Rather, the research suggests that focusing on what’s good in life and deliberately seeking out pleasant activities can help people raise their chronic level of happiness. This approach to boosting happiness is consistent with the integrative model of sustainable well-being (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon & Schkade, 2005).
Prioritizing positivity may look different for each person, depending on their individual life circumstances. But some common practices include writing down positive events and feelings, engaging in gratitude practice, spending time with supportive friends and family and practicing mindfulness. All of these can lead to greater levels of happiness, and the effects are cumulative.
2. Don’t let negative thoughts intrude
If you’re under the thumb of a pessimistic inner critic, everything around you can seem bleak. This is especially true if your life feels like a glass that’s half empty.
One way to tame negative thoughts is to recognize them when they come up. Try keeping a notebook or using an app where you can write down negative thoughts as they occur. Then try to reframe them into something more realistic and positive.
If you’re struggling, consider talking to a therapist who can teach you the skills needed to combat negative thinking. You can also enlist a support system to help talk through your issues without judgment. A therapist can also help you learn to spot cognitive distortions, such as catastrophizing, in your thought patterns and change them.
4. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude is a powerful strategy that can help you develop more desirable emotions such as happiness, pride and contentment. It can also decrease more challenging feelings such as anxiety and depression.
Try writing a daily “blessings” list as soon as you wake up or before you go to bed. This list doesn’t have to be monumental or include expensive items; focusing on small everyday experiences can be helpful as well.
Another way to practice gratitude is by thinking about what you’re thankful for when you’re struggling. For example, if you’re upset about a recent conflict with a friend, write down all of the qualities you appreciate about that person and why. This exercise can help you realize how much you really have to be happy about.
5. Practice mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness can bring clarity, positivity and calmness to any situation. Taking just 5 minutes out of your day to focus on your breathing, body and environment can help you gain control and perspective.
People who practice mindfulness often say it fundamentally changes how they experience life. It has even been shown to help reduce stress, increase happiness and compassion, improve sleep, lower blood pressure and manage pain, boost the immune system, unhook bad habits, soothe depression, and more.
Mindfulness meditation can be difficult to get into at first, so start small by dedicating just a few minutes each day. Listening to a mindfulness podcast is an easy way to get started—and many of these are free! You can even listen to these while doing other chores like cleaning or commuting.